A LIST OF BOOKS I TELL PEOPLE THAT I EITHER A) HAVE WRITTEN OR B) AM CURRENTLY HARD AT WORK AT, THOUGH IN ACTUALITY HAVE NO INTEREST IN PRODUCING
Oh My Delicious!: Too Hot For Culottes
Oh My Delicious!: Dinner with Pulaski
Oh My Delicious!: You Missed The Bird?
The Curse of Banjo
Dinny-Dan Day and the Curvy Corner Band Boys -or- Oolooloo
Pumps and A Bump: A Study in Lycra Spandex
Daylight Is Never Dimmer
Hot Fudge Sunday
The 2 Dollar Dog
My Middle Name Is Strange
Ducks Do It Too
The Guns Are Gleaming
Who Made This?
Who Broke This?
I Can't. I Won't. I Shan't.
File under: Lies, Fake Things, Misinformation
AN INCOMPLETE LIST OF THE BOOKS THAT I OWN BUT HAVE NOT READ
Recovery by John Berryman
Underworld by Don DeLillo
Burn Collector by Al Burian
Twenty-Five Short Stories of Stephen Vincent Benet by Stephen Vincent Benet
The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis
Welcome to the Monkey House by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
The Sunlight Dialogues by John Gardner
A Manual of English History by Edward M. Lancaster
U.S.! by Chris Bachelder
File under: Failings
SOME ENDORSEMENTS OF MY CHARACTER AND/OR WORK FROM PEOPLE WHO DO NOT ACTUALLY EXIST
"Mr. Cahak's work abounds with a grace and vitality of a Joycean magnitude. Kudos to you, sir."
-Ann McMurtry-Stephens, Author of The Prodigy Code
"I cannot imagine an artist with more depth, imagination, tenacity or vision that is currently walking the planet. Cahak is the Renaissance Man, reborn to usher in a new age of enlightenment."
-Paul Sosman, Grand Rapids Times-Picayune
"It's a shame that Andrew Cahak has sworn off political pursuits. We could use more men like him in office."
-Dale Donald, CEO of NewTron, Inc.
"His humility is humbling."
-Dr. Michael Chablon, Ph.D.
"The New Plus and Minus reveals a heretofore unseen dimension to Cahak's genius: his ability to instill new meanings into old words, fresh with a new lease on life."
-Connie Marquez, PrescriptionAddiction.com
File under: Lies, Fake Things, Misinformation
A LIST OF SECRET NICKNAMES THAT I USE FOR PEOPLE BEHIND THEIR BACKS
Dex
Sharky
The Pope
Fat Snac
K-Dawg
The Boss
She-Horse
Donkey
Drankula
Haircut
Dr. Teeth
File under: Miscellaneous